Charity GH Auction on eBay

Michelle, one of the members at a GH board I frequent (Something about You) has placed several GH items up for auction on eBay. All of the proceeds from the auctions will go to the MDA and the Children's Medical Center in Dallas!

An enlarged magazine cut-out of Ted King (ex-Lorenzo)

An enlarged magazine cut-out of Bradford Anderson (Spinelli)

A "Teddy Bear Zone" sign autographed by several GH cast members

(Here's a link to the original post.)

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Caption This!

I could write an entry about Carly's discovery of Jake's paternity, but there's one problem -- I liked it. I liked it quite a lot, actually. Any time Carly is called on her immature and selfish behavior by more than one character over a few weeks -- and this time it was Sam, Liz, Jason, Sonny, and Jax -- I'm a happy viewer. As much as I dislike Carly, I thought Laura Wright did a good job of staying in character with her version of Carly's psychological framework during the story. It's all about me, me, me with Carly, and that was nicely conveyed, especially in her confrontations with Sonny and Jax.

Of course, I could have done without her super-fast reconciliation with Fake-British-Jax on Thursday, but one can't have everything, I suppose.

So, instead of a long rant about how I would have written the storyline -- because I wouldn't have changed much about Carly's discovery or reactions -- I humbly offer the best screencap of the ordeal from Clarissa and ask you to add your own captions. It's an interactive entry, everyone! :)

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Slip-Shod Storytelling; or, How the GH Writers Are Incapable of Writing a Responsible HIV Storyline

(Note: This post contains some spoilers.)

A combination of heading back for a new semester and legitimately enjoying the majority of this week’s shows has made blogging about how to fix General Hospital seem a little purpose-less. But two related things happened on the show today that I feel compelled to write about…

I’ve been pretty happy with the material that Garin Wolf and the scab writers have been producing this month so far. Many of the characters are acting like themselves again, and the shows have been balanced with a good mix of storylines and actors. The scenes featuring Lucky, Carly, Ric, and Alexis have been especially good. Sonny calling Carly on her hypocritical behavior over Jake’s paternity was delicious. Lucky telling Sam that he understood her problems and needed her to fix them on her own was a breath of fresh air. Diane and Alexis’s conversation about men and violence in their lives was intelligent. Perhaps best of all, Ric’s scenes with Trevor, Alexis, and Skye have shown a growing maturity in his character.

Maturity, though, apparently only extends so far on the show. I’ve written before about my hopes for the Robin/Patrick storyline and the possibility of a groundbreaking HIV pregnancy on daytime television. After today, we know for sure that we’re going to see that HIV pregnancy storyline on the show – Robin’s pregnant. The problem, though, is the way that it happened and, more crucially, the way that both she and Patrick have chosen to deal with it.

Education should be a major component of any story written around Robin’s HIV status. The writers have a responsibility to use this intelligent and capable legacy character as a way to teach the wider audience about what it means to live with the virus. They have made strides in that way before – the way that her HIV status was dealt with when she and Patrick first slept together, for example, was sensitive and thoughtful. But the writers have decided to present the story of Robin’s pregnancy in a wholly irresponsible way.

Robin became pregnant when she slept with Patrick on the night of Georgie’s funeral. The two of them undoubtedly used protection – responsible – but apparently the condom failed. Thus began the confusing and, in my opinion, irresponsible, series of half-truths and omissions that changed a potentially compelling and informative storyline into an outright mess:

1) Patrick knew that the condom broke and didn’t tell Robin.

Patrick was responsible for telling Robin that their protection failed; she absolutely had the right to know that she faced the possibility of pregnancy. Some may argue that Patrick was simply giving Robin what she truly wanted by allowing a possible pregnancy to develop, but I don’t see it that way. That’s not a romantic gesture. That’s a poor decision.

2) Robin found out she was pregnant and didn’t discuss it with Patrick.

I know Kimberly McCullough tried to justify Robin’s decision not to tell Patrick about the pregnancy based on Robin’s hopes for a baby and her fears that Patrick would compel her to terminate the pregnancy (which I don’t think would be consistent with Patrick’s character), but to have an HIV-positive woman realize that her lover ran the risk of contracting HIV and not immediately tell him about it was wholly irresponsible writing. It was a bad message to send to the viewership as a whole, even if it does set up a soapy “we both know, but we’re not discussing it” storyline later. Even though she reportedly overhears a conversation between Patrick and Leo that confirms that Patrick has started on the drug protocol, she still needs to sit down and have a conversation with him about the risks. That’s what a smart woman who takes responsibility for her life and for her HIV status should do – that’s what Robin would do if written in character, I think.

3) Patrick was exposed to HIV and still slept with Leyla – without an on-screen conversation discussing the risks to her if they had sex.

This sends a dangerous message, period. Patrick has been written as a playboy in the past, and his relationship with Leyla is problematic at best and disastrous at worst, but I can’t believe Patrick wouldn’t warn Leyla about the risks for transmitting HIV before they slept together. I suppose it’s entirely possible that he did so off-screen, but not providing that conversation for the viewers runs the risk of demonstrating to the uninformed viewer that casual sex after HIV exposure is not dangerous.

And it’s not like this story is the first time that the HIV factor in the Patrick/Robin story has been irresponsibly dealt with by the writers. When Patrick and Robin had a pregnancy scare in 2007 after a broken condom, the story was all about Robin’s desire for a baby and Patrick’s absolute refusal to be a father. Robin’s HIV status or Patrick being put on a drug protocol after being tested? Never mentioned.

I’m certain that a part of the reason the writers want to pursue this storyline is the potential for accolades from the public. In fact, I’m convinced that this story is more about the novelty of writing a pregnancy for an HIV-positive woman than it is about writing a pregnancy for a legacy character on the show. If that’s true, I cannot fathom why the writers would choose to make this story more about a soapy angle than about a realistically presented HIV pregnancy. Writing a pregnancy for an HIV-positive woman that began with a broken condom and the couple’s refusal to talk with each other or their other sexual partners about the possibility of transmitting the disease shouldn’t earn the writers any awards or praise – it should earn them the scorn of communities that have tried for so many years to educate the public on the importance of candor and safety when dealing with HIV.

I’m disappointed, writers. Just as it’s Robin’s responsibility to tell Patrick about the possibility of exposure, it’s your responsibility to provide the viewers with adequate and correct information about HIV and how it is transmitted. Just as it’s Patrick’s responsibility to tell Robin about the potential for her pregnancy, it’s your responsibility to help the viewers of GH who don’t know much about the virus that causes AIDS to understand the real ramifications of the virus for those who are living with it and their children. And perhaps most crucially, just as it’s Patrick’s responsibility to tell other sexual partners like Leyla that she may be at risk for contracting HIV if they have sex, it’s your responsibility to remind the public that safe sex practices are crucial in preventing the spread of HIV. So far, you’ve failed in all areas.

I can’t imagine that the writers who penned the Stone and Robin story – the same ones who made the groundbreaking decision for a legacy character to contract the virus – would see much merit in this HIV pregnancy story. They wrote a truly original and informative story for the public that helped to bring the truth about AIDS to a whole new audience. It’s a disgrace that the continuation of Robin’s story has been presented in such a crass, irresponsible, and potentially detrimental way. Robin’s character is certainly about more than just her HIV-positive status, but in this case, that status should be at the forefront of the story. And the writers and producers have dropped the ball yet again.

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Best of the Week: January 7-11

The true delight of this week? There were several actors and actresses who could have been given the title “best of the week.” The scripts under new (financial core) head writer Gavin Wolf have so far been measured and have featured nearly the entire cast. Scenes are quickly paced, and multiple storylines and characters are included in a single episode. The writing has improved, and the actors are bringing their A games. So far, so good, Mr. Wolf – even the small tweaks you’ve made to the GH formula have so far been enough to make me look forward to tuning in to the show every afternoon.

Best Actor of the Week: Greg Vaughn (Lucky Spencer)

Welcome back, Lucas Lorenzo Spencer, Jr.!


I love Lucky Spencer, and I’m not ashamed of that. He really is the ultimate legacy character, and he should be the leading man of this soap. The problem of late is that the character assigned to Greg Vaughn has seemed to share few traits with the son of Luke and Laura – he’s more often bumbling, vacant, and downright stupid than clever, brave, and just a little bit edgy.

Lucky came home to Port Charles this week under the watch of the scab writers. Friday’s scenes especially proved that it’s not Vaughn’s lack of acting talent that has kept him from truly inhabiting the role of Lucky: it’s the poor writing that paints him to be a hapless, ineffective police detective while heroic mobster Jason saves the day once again. Lucky can be a hero. Vaughn’s quiet intensity in his last scenes with Kelly Monaco’s Sam was wonderful – with his tone of voice alone, he conveyed how difficult the last few years truly have been for Lucky. Much is made of the losses and hardships of other characters, but strangely, it’s been glossed over for Lucky because of the mistakes he made as a result of his emotional turmoil. In the space of a few years, he’s watched his mother succumb again to a vegetative state, had a partner die, been seriously injured, developed an addiction to pain medication, coped with his father’s heart attacks, buried a best friend, divorced his childhood love (twice!), committed adultery, discovered that his brother has a brain tumor, and found out that the baby he thought was his really belonged to Jason.

But Greg Vaughn’s Lucky may have been looked over in the sorrow department because of the way he’s chosen to handle his life. The speech he gave Sam on Friday, coupled with his earlier scenes with Liz and the children he still considers his kids, showed that Lucky’s growing up and learning how to cope with his misfortunes. He’s taken responsibility for his life and has decided to make the best of an awful situation. I could transcribe the lines, but that would take away from the delivery. Here’s the scene, beginning at 2:10:

That’s character development. Here’s a cheer for Wolf and Co., and an even bigger one for Greg Vaughn. Welcome back, Lucky!


Best Actress of the Week: Robin Christopher (Skye Chandler Quartermaine)

I’m so glad that Skye got the send of she deserved. I’m always frightened these days when an actress leaves GH; it seems that the only way Guza knows to write off a female character anymore is to have her strangled. But Skye wasn’t murdered. Instead, she realized that she didn’t really have much left in Port Charles after both Alan and Lorenzo died, and she decided to cut her losses, unload all of Alcazar’s assets on Ric, and ride off into the sunset with Lila Rae.

Robin Christopher was excellent in all of her final scenes. After an amusing turn as Luke’s guide through hell a month ago, she was back in firm lead-actress mode in her final scenes. She sizzled with Ric, and made me a little sad that I’d never get to see their chemistry truly sparkle on screen. She had touching farewell scenes with Edward and Monica – another Q gone. Her last scene with Luke was classic; even Luke was back in fine form as the two of them said goodbye. But my vote for her best performance on her last day goes to her scenes with ex-husband Jax. The scab writers apparently actually know that Skye and Jax used to be married, and it was wonderful to have their relationship acknowledged on Skye’s last day in Port Charles. Here’s the scene I’m discussing, at the beginning of the clip:



You’ll be missed, Robin, but I hope you find a choice part on a show that has the space and the intelligence to really use your talent.

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Bring It Back: The Marriage of Convenience

There are lots of tried-and-true soap opera aspects that have been missing from General Hospital over the past few years: strong heroines, romantic stories, and brave heroes. They’ve tried to use some traditional soap plotting devices – like huge parties, crisis situations, paternity secrets, etc. – although most in a non-effective way. One that they haven’t tried to use, and I think they should, is the marriage of convenience.

I won’t lie – it’s my favorite clichéd, soapy plotline. Two people who aren’t in love and most likely hate each other are forced for various reasons to get hitched – and they always end up falling in love. Always. They have to, or it’s not a fabulous soapy cliché.

Two soaps in the past ten years have used the marriage of convenience to great effect. One is an ABC sister soap – All My Children. Their incredibly popular pairing, Zach and Kendall, began as a marriage of convenience. Kendall had just broken up with Zach’s son, Ethan (how soapy!), and wanted revenge. Zach was peeved because Ethan had shut down one of his businesses, and revenge sounded pretty good to him, too. The two decided marriage would be the best way to stick it to their son/former lover, and of course, in true soap fashion, they fell in love along the way. They’ve gained a huge fan base, and the drama surrounding the couple and their children is now at the center of the show.




Another marriage of convenience with a GH connection happened in the late’90s on Guiding Light: the union of Michelle Bauer and Danny Santos. The show airs on another network, but one of the writers currently working for GH, Michael Conforti – whose refusal to “deball” Lucky Spencer earns him my respect forever – was one of the writers integral to the Michelle/Danny storyline. Instead of revenge, this time personal safety was the reason for tying the knot. Michelle accidentally killed mobster Danny’s thuggish brother, and to keep his Mafioso mother from killing Michelle, Danny decided to make her part of the family. The two sparred endlessly for months, but in the end, Danny realized that his protective feelings for Michelle had turned to love. When she admitted the same, they married for real. A couple of kids and a defection for One Tree Hill later, the two rode into the sunset after providing Guiding Light with a surge in popularity.

(Robert and Holly admit that they love each other.)

GH can even look to its own history for examples of the marriage of convenience that gains fan popularity and provides great soap. The best example of this comes from the early ‘80s: Robert and Holly. Holly had been involved with Luke Spencer, and was even pregnant with his baby, but after he was presumed dead in an accident, she was threatened with deportation. To keep the baby in the US, close to Bobbie and the rest of the Spencers, Luke’s dashing best friend, police commissioner Robert Scorpio, stepped up and married Holly. In the end, she miscarried the baby, and Luke wasn’t dead after all, but Robert and Holly fell deeply in love and became fan favorites.

What General Hospital had then that it does not have today, chiefly, is romance. The problem isn’t budgetary … it’s not with the caliber of the acting … the problem, period, is that people watch soap operas – women watch soap operas – primarily for the romance. Adventures and mystery can certainly be a part of the action, but without underpinning romance stories, they do not work for this genre.

If putting the romance back in GH is the goal, a marriage of convenience would be a great way to do it. After all, a marriage of convenience story is like Soap Opera Romance 101, and if GH is going to restore the love to the afternoon, they might as well start with the basics. The environment currently in Port Charles would be a great fit for this kind of storyline – as the Michelle/Danny story shows, a marriage like this can work really well when there’s an element of danger or violence present. But it’s got to be done better than their last try at such a story – the latest Sonny/Carly marriage debacle, which was obviously just a last-ditch effort to try to create tension in the Carly/Jax relationship.

I’d love to see an almost-reformed Maxie accidentally do something like commit a murder – and have Lucky Spencer as the only witness. If the two characters had already formed a solid friendship, it would be great to watch Lucky puzzle over his loyalties to the police department and to his friend. As any good romantic hero would, he decides that he needs to find a way to keep from testifying against Maxie and sending her to jail – so he marries her. Spencer/Scorpio-Jones conflicts ensue, and Maxie and Lucky work through their former torrid issues and genuinely fall in love.

But criminal charges don’t have to be the only impetus for a good marriage of convenience. What about an inheritance that awards all the cash to the first heir that ties the knot? Or someone who decides to spite their lover by marrying the lover’s best friend? Deportation, Holly and Robert-style, is always a good motive for marriage. Maybe two characters marry, merge their shares of a company’s stock, and take the place over? Watch out, ELQ!

The possibilities are exciting. I just wish that GH would use a storyline like the marriage of convenience to spice up its daytime drama a little bit. I think I speak for most of the women who watch soap operas when I say that we root for couples, not violent mob organizations or playboys who skip from partner to partner. It’s one of the reasons that Scrubs has been enduringly popular although the writers and producers haven’t given them the commitment of screen time and great writing. The characters have chemistry, and women want to watch romance. Think about it, GH writers. Conforti, dig out those old Michelle/Danny scripts – Guza, watch some old episodes of your own show – and for the love of Gloria Monty, write stories that take their cues from great soap stories of today and yesterday, not from the latest action movies and mafia TV shows!

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The Thursday Throwdown

The Thursday Throwdown: A Week’s Worth of GH Happenings

1. For my fellow Baldwin family fans: Josh Duhon (Logan) and Kin Shriner (Scott) are making a joint public appearance in Dallas this weekend. Watch the GH boards and blogs for what is sure to be some awesome Baldwin scoop!

(screencap from Clarissa's GH Screencaps)

2. Per multiple sources, including Soaps.com, this week’s exit from Alexis’s house also marked Robin Christopher’s (Skye) exit from the show. I’ve got to applaud the writers here on two counts: first, they wrote out a character with few connections to the rest of the show’s storylines, and second, they didn’t murder her. Murder-Free ’08 continues … for now. I hope that Christopher finds a role that uses her talent more effectively than GH has over the past few years. Too bad they only let her chemistry with Rick Hearst (Ric) smolder for a few short days!


3. Soaps.com has also reported that it’s time for Anthony Geary (Luke) to take one of his many scheduled vacations. It’s sad when I’m happy to see Luke go, but other than his scene with Lucky at the hospital on Wednesday, he’s been a painful caricature this time around instead of a strong, historically-grounded character.

4. At the time this blog entry was published, the Scrubs forum’s petition for a responsible HIV pregnancy story had garnered more than 1,000 electronic signatures. If you missed out on signing this well-written and balanced appeal to the show’s writers and producers, you can view the petition here.

5. The show has debuted a beautiful new set of “bumpers” this week, obviously filmed around the time that the GH: Night Shift promos were filmed for SOAPnet this summer. They’re fresh and gorgeous, and I’ve especially enjoyed seeing backburner characters like Mac in his own spot – but why does Dead Emily Quartermaine merit one? I know that Natalia Livingston is still on contract with the show for a few more months, but they’ll just be faced with phasing her out at that point. I’d much rather have seen another Quartermaine woman – like Monica or Tracy – get a bumper slot in her place.

That’s all the General Hospital news for this Thursday’s Throwdown. If there’s a topic you’d like to discuss, send it along to me, Lauren. Also, if you’re enjoying the blog, please consider helping to support us by clicking on a few of the site ads. Thanks!

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Playing Guza: My GH in 2008

I've seen several blogs and boards discussing possible New Year's Resolutions for each of the characters on the show. I was inspired, but I decided to take a slightly different take on it. Here's what I hope will happen to each of the contract characters on General Hospital this year...


Cooper Barrett: There’s no redemption for Cooper at this point, in my opinion – there’s going to be no convincing way for the writers to reveal that he’s not the real “Text Message Killer” (ugh, it pains me so to type that name). Those menacing looks he’s been giving over Maxie’s shoulder just can’t be explained away as something else. Squinty vision? Hunger? Constipation? I don’t think so. Coop was a sweet character until a few weeks ago, but Jason Gerhardt’s limited acting range doesn’t promise much excitement from his character even if the writers do try to convince me that he’s not a killer. So let it be done – make it him. My poor little 3M-loving heart will just have to cope. Plus, that would mean Georgie was right about him, and I love Georgie (and refuse to believe she’s really dead). That said, I don’t want him to be accused right away. But for more on that, we need to consider…




Logan Hayes: It’s no secret that Logan is one of my favorite characters on the show – sometimes more for the idea of what he could be than for what his character really is, but there you go – but I wouldn’t mind seeing him accused of killing Leticia, Emily, and Georgie. I don’t want him to actually be the killer, mind you; I just want him to be accused of it and to stand trial. There are some aspects of Logan’s character that must be dealt with, in my opinion, before he becomes a truly viable romantic lead for Lulu Spencer. The dishonorable discharge from the military is one, and his bullying personality is the other. A trial would force both of those things out into the open and provide a way for the writers to deal with it, and hopefully explain them away (dishonorable discharge? He was covering for Coop. Bullying personality? He’s suffering from the PTSD he has feared for so many months). Having Logan stand trial and be exonerated would also help to bring him closer to his father, who, after all, has been accused of murder more than once himself. It would also force Lulu to decide on her loyalties once and for all with Logan; either she stands by him or she abandons him completely when he most needs her. One other reason that I’d like Logan to be accused is tied to…


Jason Morgan: It’s time for Jason Morgan to be wrong about something. He needs to be shaken up enough by an incorrect decision to fully question his lifestyle, because apparently having a child and putting his new family in constant danger isn’t enough to make him do it. I want Spinelli to convince Jason that Logan is the “Text Message Killer,” and I want Jason to bring him in and be celebrated as a hero once again – for a moment. But I think this show really needs Jason not to be the savior of the world for once, and I’d like to see him have to cope with the consequences of accusing an innocent man. Jason needs to really consider the realities of life, death, guilt, and innocence – the old “brain trauma” excuse isn’t enough for me anymore. When Cooper, not Logan, is proven to be the real killer, I want Jason to finally have the crisis of identity that has been building since the late ‘90s. And I want him to be proven wrong by…


Mac Scorpio: Jason Morgan and the mob need to be wrong, and Mac Scorpio and the PCPD need to be right for once. Since the show has brought Felicia back in the wake of Georgie’s death, the writers need to give Mac and Felicia the chance to win the day with this case. They should be the ones who question Jason and Spinelli’s evidence against Logan, and they should be the ones to discover that the real killer is Cooper. In a perfect GH world, that evidence would be secured by something that Georgie left behind, helping the Scorpio/Joneses to solve the case and grieve their child in one fell swoop. Of course, Mac and Felicia’s reveal of Cooper as the murderer would also have a major effect on…


Maxie Jones: She’s already at the breaking point, and one might suggest that the loss of Cooper would send her over the edge, but I think Maxie would be able to weather that particular storm. However, Cooper’s guilt should make Maxie seriously question her own judgment of people; after all, she was the one who decided he was a good guy in the midst of the hostage crisis. Maxie needs to be self-reflective in the middle of all of her machinations. My dream for Maxie is that she becomes the next Dorian to Lulu’s Viki (pardon the OLTL reference) – a vindictive and calculating character who can also be vulnerable, appealing, and even heroic. She needs a partner worthy of that, and boy-toy Cooper isn’t going to be that for her. Instead, my choice for the Maxie would be…


Lucky Spencer: He’s cleaned up his act considerably in 2007, but I still need Lucky Spencer to stand up, rummage around for his spine, and be the child of Luke and Laura Spencer. Lucky needs to be written as smart and perceptive, not sensitive and bumbling. He needs to be the hero, not the foil for Jason Morgan. After Mac and Felicia solve Georgie’s case, I think it’s time for Mac to hand over the reigns of the PCPD to a younger (and contract) character like Lucky. Maybe I’ve been watching too many clips of the Susan Moore murder mystery on YouTube again, but I’d love to see Lucky start playing the Robert Scorpio role on the show. Young, dashing, and with a touch of Sherlock Holmes – not afraid to bend the occasional rule but still with a rock-solid sense of ethics and morality – that’s the Lucky Spencer I want on my screen. That Lucky would be a worthy partner for a Maxie Jones on the path to (semi) redemption; I’d love to see the two of them develop a real friendship first and then move on the path to love. Which, of course, means that Lucky would have to ditch…


Sam McCall: I think Sam’s time on this show is just about up. I was really hopeful that she’d be exiting after the awful kidnapping story of last summer, and she’s just been languishing in the background ever since. She will always be a woman who married men to steal their money and who silently watched a little boy abducted from his mother – and yet, the writers seem reluctant to make her a true villain. Her Cassadine heritage could have been fascinating if the writers were willing to explore it, but it seems that they aren’t, so it’s time for her to move on. She’s just wasting screen time pining for Jason and making out with Lucky. I think a shady and interesting disappearance – one that could plant the seeds for future stories if a Cassadine resurgence ever does happen on the show – would fit the bill. I’d argue that she should make quick strides in finding out the identity of her father, set up a meeting with him on the docks, and then quietly disappear into the night. And since we’re on the subject of Cassadines, let’s move on to…


Nikolas Cassadine: Like Sam, Nikolas is another character who could stand to have a long break from the show. We know that his character apparently has the soap opera malady du jour – a crazy-inducing brain tumor – so let’s dispatch that quickly with a surgery and then send him on his way. Tyler Christopher has been more weary than engaging over the past year, and now that Emily is dead, perhaps it’s time for Nikolas to leave Port Charles for a little while. He and Spencer should move abroad so that Nikolas can work on his business interests in Europe; I think a few years working in London and trying to grieve Emily would be a good choice for the character, who really doesn’t have much to do story-wise at the moment. And if Nikolas goes, that makes the lone Cassadine on the show…


Alexis Davis: Cancer-free, Alexis should reclaim the office of the district attorney and figure prominently in Logan Hayes’s trial. That would provide plenty of tension between her and her old foe, Scott; it would also keep her involved with Mac, Lucky, and the rest of the PCPD on the case. Logan’s acquittal would be a disappointment for her at first, but once she’s able to easily nail Cooper Barrett for the crime, she (and the rest of us) can move on to bigger and better things. I think it’s time for her to recognize that, father of her child or not, Sonny’s mob connections need to be undone in Port Charles. If Michael continues on his downward spiral, I can see Kristina somehow getting caught in the crossfire – and that could lead Alexis to a full-out witch hunt. If she did, of course, the major casualty would be…


Sonny Corinthos: I don’t necessarily think that Sonny Corinthos should be gone from the show altogether, but I think it’s time that he be moved out of his current mob business and into a different venue. I’d love to see him open a nightclub again – but one without stripping Baldwin daughters, of course. Sonny needs a reason to get out of the mob, and I think the current Michael storyline might just give him one. Unless the writers go with the obvious cop out and blame Michael’s volatility on AJ’s DNA instead of Sonny and Carly’s crappy parenting, both Sonny and Carly are going to have some self-reflecting to do after Michael does something truly horrifying. If the writers really want Sonny to be a bad guy with a heart, he needs to get out of the business of vague illegal trade (and since it’s “coffee,” I assume it’s “drugs”) and move into something a little more respectable. Of course, none of this will happen at all without…


Michael Corinthos III: I’m thinking that Michael’s downfall has to involve something major and awful, something terrible enough to send him away from Port Charles (because Dylan Cash isn’t the right actor for the role anymore) and horrific enough to actually make Carly and Sonny think twice about their lifestyle. My guess would be Michael somehow getting access to a weapon and injuring one or both of his siblings. Kristina would be the obvious choice to bring Alexis into the storyline, and think about the powerhouse acting from Nancy Lee Grahn in such a story. Alexis also probably wouldn’t hesitate to bring charges against Michael, Sonny, and Carly, providing the show with a second-half law story (after the spring text message killer trials). Michael could be sent away to a psychiatric hospital to be safely kept for at least two years until it’s time for him to become a teenager and either wreak more havoc in PC or take over ELQ. Michael’s story could also lead to Morgan being taken away from…


Carly Jacks: I’m not sure about this fertility storyline between Carly and Jax. I want Jax to have a child, but I’m not a fan of the pairing – I think it ties both of them into strange domestic situations not appropriate for either character, and I don’t feel much chemistry from Laura Wright and Ingo Rademacher. But if Carly and Jax are destined to procreate, placing a pregnant Carly in the middle of a story about psychotic Michael could actually be interesting soap. If Michael did injure Kristina or Morgan while in Carly’s custody, a truly compelling angle could be Carly’s loss of both her children. Carly has been built up to heroine status over the past years for no reason other than her association with Sonny and Jason. I’d like to see her character dismantled and stuck back where she began, and I think Laura Wright could pull that off. Where we discuss Carly, we must also discuss…


Jasper Jacks: Ingo’s vacation story is problematic to me unless he’s actually being presented as a real business tycoon. I’d like to see Jax take his focus away from his Metro Court business venture with Carly (whose business experience is…?) and move it toward a publishing empire with Kate Howard. It’s time the Port Charles Herald be brought back to the canvas, and if the two of them owned the newspaper and a prominent fashion magazine (hell, why not have Jax buy Couture?), I could actually believe that Jax was off working when Ingo leaves. I think it’s also time for Jax and Carly realize that they’re not in a healthy relationship, and I wouldn’t mind seeing a revisit of the Irina storyline from last summer – Jax could use some therapy for that one, perhaps from…


Dr. Lainey Winters: I don’t know what to do with Lainey, honestly, and neither do the writers on the show. The presence of a minority actress on the show is always a bonus, but I do not buy Kent King as a psychiatrist. Maybe if the writers would actually place her in non-Sonny and non-Cody counseling situations, my opinion might change. I’m at a loss for her, much as I am for…


Ric Lansing: I hate to say it, because Rick Hearst is one of the more compelling actors on the show, but I don’t think that Ric serves an actual purpose on the show anymore. I think he should probably head out to greener pastures (maybe an offer from a law firm in New York?) about the time that Trevor finally does (which I hope is soon). Another character who should exit the canvas, in my opinion, is…


Epiphany Johnson: She’s unprofessional, she’s written as a stereotype, and she’s doing the job that Bobbie Spencer should have. Give Jackie Zeman a contract again, and either bump Sonya Eddy to recurring status or let her go. Just, for the love of God, don’t kill her off. GH should declare a moratorium on murder for the rest of the year. One nurse who should stay, albeit on a back-burner status, is…


Elizabeth Webber: The Carly/Sonny/Michael story would also bring Elizabeth and Jason’s relationship into the mix, and I think this should be the year that Elizabeth puts her foot down and orders Jason to leave the mob. No choices – no “choose Jake and me or choose the mob,” because she would never stay away from him – just a firm order to find a new line of business. I think Elizabeth should also forge a tentative friendship with…


Dr. Monica Quartermaine: Monica’s new mission, once Jake’s paternity is common knowledge, could be to help Elizabeth get Jason out of the mob. She could act as a mother figure for Elizabeth, and the two of them could bond over their grief for Emily and their love for Jason and Jake. Monica would also be embroiled seriously in the Michael storyline – as his grandmother, she would be involved to a great degree. I’d also like to see Monica unseat Dr. Ford and finally claim the chief of staff position that she deserves. She and Bobbie could run GH the way it should be run, and the show could benefit from showcasing women in leadership positions in the medical community. For Monica’s sake, and the sake of the viewing audience, however, a character who should be finally sent off is…


Emily Quartermaine: Forget this “most romantic storyline ever” crap. Use her death in an organic and interesting way, and let its consequences actually reverberate among the characters who loved her. End the “brain tumor” storyline, and let Emily rest in peace. The female doctor who can carry on her legacy instead is…


Dr. Robin Scorpio: This year, Robin should finally be allowed to marry and should be given the smart and intelligent baby storyline that she deserves. I’d also like to see her actually get involved with a medical storyline with consequences – a new research breakthrough, perhaps? Her pregnancy should also bring AIDS back as an issue on the show; maybe the Nurses Ball could be revived? But one thing is for sure: no more of what we’ve seen for the majority of 2007. No more circular arguments with Carly – she, Jason, and Carly should have a conversation about Michael that finally lets the issue end. No more commitment issues with Patrick – that should be a closed book. And speaking of that…


Dr. Patrick Drake: It’s time for Patrick to grow up. No more childish commitment issues. That’s not romantic, writers. Some doubt is okay. A clear resistance to act like an adult and maturely address your issues is just frustrating. We all have to deal with this stuff from men in our daily lives. We don’t want to watch it on soaps! He should decide that he loves Robin and have some compelling conversations with Noah about what it means to be a single father – since he may face that possibility once he and Robin decide to have a child. Another male character who needs to mature a little is, unfortunately…


Luke Spencer: Honestly, I think Tony Geary needs an extended vacation from the show. Give him a year off. The Luke that we’ve been watching over the past few months has been a mere shadow of what the character can and should be. The Christmas episode was pathetic. Luke needs to be more than comedy; the writers should let him go for a while and give him a real reason to come back in twelve months’ time. In for a longer absence should be…




Jerry Jacks, Johnny Zacchara, Damien Spinelli: Penned in a maximum security prison, back to New York City, off to college. Next…


Kate Howard: No more relationships with mobsters. Sonny’s going to be pretty busy with his family problems, anyway. Kate should work with Jax and take Maxie Jones under her wing, training her to be the fabulous lady we all know she can be someday. I wouldn’t mind seeing Kate and Jax test the waters romantically in the wake of their relationship failures with Sonny and Carly – maybe the two of them might not work in the long run, but seeing the vulnerability in each of them could make for an intriguing pairing. I’d also like Kate and Alexis to form a real friendship. Also a good match for the two of them would be…


Skye Chandler Quartermaine: I could see Skye palling around with Kate and Alexis, but frankly, I’m not sure where her character goes from here, either. She might also benefit from a visit back to her mother for a good long while, leaving ELQ in the hands of…



Edward Quartermaine and Tracy Quartermaine: We need some good, old-fashioned Q controversy, and it would be great if Ned could be involved. Blackmail, long-lost family members, take your pick. They need to be a little more light-hearted after the black, dark year of 2007. With Luke gone, Tracy will also need to act as a mentor for…


Lulu Spencer: Of all the characters on GH, Lulu is perhaps the most in need of an overhaul in 2008. She has a promising love interest in Logan – why can’ t the writers tap into the inherent angst that is Scotty’s son dating Laura’s daughter? She also needs to move out of the mob sphere, stop relying on Carly for all of her advice, and develop some interests of her own. I’d like to see Lulu involved in a college-based storyline (but with no Professor Petes, please) this year, something appropriate for her age. I’d also like to see her help Lucky out with a case (and try to figure out how to deal with a Lucky/Maxie friendship) and looking to Bobbie and Lesley as more appropriate female role models.

(Screencaps from Clarissa's GH Screencaps)

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Rewriting GH: Resurrecting Georgie Jones

The writers of General Hospital have made some huge missteps this year in their storytelling. James Craig, who shot Robin point-blank and allowed Alan Quartermaine to die of a heart attack, was suddenly retooled into Jax’s brother, Jerry. Robin and Patrick were made to continue their dance of commitment-phobia instead of progressing as a couple after the hostage crisis. Thanksgiving happened the day after Halloween. Emily Quartermaine became a brain tumor, and Alan Q a conscience in a track suit. In perhaps one of the stupidest writing moves of all time, the writers attempted to smash together GH and the supposedly alternate-universe GH: Night Shift, featuring new characters without introduction and expecting a whole sector of the audience to magically have understood what happened on SOAPnet the summer before.

However, as awful as these storylines were, in my opinion, none trumped the sheer writing stupidity of the death of one of GH’s most promising legacy characters: Georgie Jones. In a town where young female characters tend to be mouthy blond risk-takers, Georgie was an intelligent, strong young woman with major promise for the future. She had the potential to become the great matriarchal figure for the next generation of GH. I don’t think it’s stretching to suggest that she could have become the next Lila Quartermaine – a smart, strong, maternal figure who thinks for herself and is loved by many.

And the writers decided to have her strangled in the park.

Even the manner of her death is insulting to the character. When major legacy characters are killed off on a show, their deaths should be the starting point for larger stories. She should have been the center of a major murder investigation; she deserved more than a footnote in a serial killer storyline that has already felled Emily Quartermaine and threatens to take out more female characters. Mostly, she deserved to live.

So, I think it’s time to play soap writer. As all soap viewers are keenly aware, deaths on soaps rarely stick unless the actor has died (and with recasts, sometimes not even then). I refuse to lose Georgie Jones forever from my show. If I’m the writer, then, how do I undo this major mistake?

One of the posters on Something about You (a Lulu/Logan message board), loveleef, posted the very best suggestion for bringing Georgie back that I’ve read thus far. She offered:

Ok...I'm completely going on the limb here with this one...

The whole thing was set up by Georgie herself to bring upon the real killer... With the help of another source (enter person's name here ____ ), she drugged herself, and staged the whole death as a way to save everyone by revealing the real killer....

The whole "it's you...I thought I had a stalker comment," could have been from her "helper.”

I’m so on board with this, it’s not even funny. Georgie is the daughter of a secret agent and a private investigator. She was already exhibiting signs of her natural propensity for crime solving in the days and weeks before her death, as she and Spinelli investigated Cooper’s possible role in Maxie’s attempted strangling. I know we’re supposed to have understood Georgie’s last statement of relief to have indicated that her killer was not who she suspected, but wouldn’t it be great if that relief had been because she’d seen Frisco, come to help her trap the strangler who almost killed Maxie? I think it’s entirely plausible that Frisco and Felicia (and hey, maybe Uncle Robert, too!) could have helped Georgie to fake her death in an attempt to catch the killer.

The payoff would be excellent. Maxie’s fury over the past weeks has been the one shining moment from this awful, terrible story, and her reaction to Georgie having faked it all would likely be priceless. Mac’s anger at Felicia and Frisco having kept him in the dark would also be a great showcase for John J. York. Plus, the storyline could be a great way to introduce the WSB element back into GH, providing support for the police force and a truly worthy foe for the dreck that is the Port Charles mafia underground. Even more, it would make Georgie a heroine to contend with and would give her the storyline and status on the show that she so richly deserves.

So, inspired by loveleef’s post and my own vitriol over Georgie’s murder, I challenge the writers: bring her back. Rewrite your mistake. Hell, the scab writers could take the opportunity given them to overturn this egregious error and show Guza how soap writing should really be done.

Because Georgie Jones deserves to be a part of this show. She deserves to be loved and to have an important place in her community. She deserves to be a voice on this show for the woman who has brains and isn’t ashamed of it. She deserves to inherit the legacy of her family.

And she can’t do it if she’s dead.

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Petition: A Responsible Scrubs Pregnancy

Some of the members over at the Scrubs forum have started a petition for what they call the "responsible storytelling of an HIV pregnancy." In light of the blog entry I posted a few days ago supporting the same ideas, I thought I'd help support their efforts by linking the petition here.

Head to Responsible Storytelling of an HIV Pregnancy to read and sign the petition. Support smart and innovative storytelling on General Hospital!

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Subscribe to Patching Up Port Charles!

If you're a regular reader of the blog and you don't want to miss any updates, consider signing up for our update mailing list. It's a free service through Google Groups; you won't receive any spam mail, just updates from me letting you know when I've posted a new entry. To sign up, begin by typing your e-mail address in the box in the right-hand column of this page or by going to the group home page. Hope to see you on the list!

--Lauren

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